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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Depressed Mum's story

I am a mother of a 20 year old daughter who is in the first year of university. One day my daughter , let’s call her Chilli Padi, came up to me at breakfast and said she had something important to tell me and need my support. I was terrified. It could only meant that she became pregnant.

I always believed that she would behave herself and not fall into this trap. She is pretty, intelligent , doing well in Uni, happy go lucky kind of person. Have dreams of doing MBA in US, active in sports. She said her bf is shocked but willing to stand beside her if she wants to keep the baby. He informed his parent and they are also willingly to support them.

What am I to do? We believe in the sanctity of life. Should I let her keep the baby?

So many reasons to say no:
  1. The 2 parents to be -not in position to be parent – over the next 4 years, their parents (from both side) would need to raise their child for them, apart from seeing them both through school
  2. mother to be- is so naïve; can’t even keep her room tidy; her dreams.. how?
  3. father to be – good boy, filial – but still in uni, very anxious, unstable – not right to pressurize him
  4. Yours truly grandmother to be – suffer from depression from time to time; last thing is to look after another child, so tired from raising 3 kids of her own
  5. grandfather to be – my hubby – just had another scare- recently discharged from hospital after a 5day stay in cardiac ward
  6. my family finances are tight- Chilli Padi has a scholarship- she need to miss an entire semester when the baby arrives, have such high hopes for her
They are just not ready to become parents! So stupid to have unsafe sex. It is also not right for the boy to marry her; for the wrong reasons. Marriage is more than lovey dovey; it’s a commitment that entailed considerable sacrifice.

What am I to do? Arrival of grandchildren is usually greeted with joy. Alas, why such dread within me? Disappointment that Chilli padi’s future so promising can fall into this trap. Is my moral compass wrong if I want her to abort? It is so easy for others to say that abortion is wrong; ever experienced living with your dreams unfulfilled?; there is the danger of recrimination in future. Is it selfish to want the best for your children?

-- by Depressed Mum


Jayce said...

To me, abortion have nothing to do with morals, it's your daughter's body, she's the only one that can decide what to do. If she's against abortion, she's not particular moral, if she aborts, it also does not say anything about her morals.

Abortion is a private affair that only she can decide and it have absolutely nothing to do with morals.

Honestly, the only thing you can do now is offer support and choices. Don't decide for her, let her decide for herself. It's her body, it's her responsibility.

Go down to family help centres, they have people there who can help and let her understand more on what her choices are.

Seek help but leave the decision to her.

Lawrence said...

I notice the date. Too long ago. I have an M. D. who have adopted one child and would like to adopt another. They have placed the matter in God's hand. This man is a wonderful person first and a great doctor next. We feel like a situtation that your daughter is in would offer one solution. It is a personal decision that only your daughter should make. Remember, "There but by the grace of God goeth I"

Unexpected pregnancy? Call 1-800-MUM-TO-BE (1-800-686-8623).