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Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Originally posted by tristefemme. Most of the personal information has been removed. Reproduced without permission.

Genesis. The Beginning. How it all started.

LX and I met through a mutual friend, L, his friend and my ex-colleague and close girl friend on September. I remember the date because I still keep the first sms he'd sent me a week later to ask me out for coffee, as my sixth sense told me that he would turn out to be more than just a friend to me.

I remember that the night before, I was praying and crying in church because I felt so alone. Now, I really can't remember why I was so depressed then. Everything else that used to hurt and mean so much, now pale in comparison.

I usually don't go for parties where I am surrounded by people I don't know, because I am very shy by nature and find it difficult to make small talk.

The next day, when L asked me whether I wanted to meet up with her and her friend (i.e. LX) for dinner and movie, I agreed to go, because I felt that things were so bad that I didn't have anything more to lose. I also thought that the meeting could be a sign from God telling me that things weren't so bad afterall, that people still like me enough to ask me out.

Scene 1

I was pleasantly surprised that L's friend, i.e. LX, was quite good-looking. I thought he looked like James Lye. My male ex-colleague who was at the dinner also conceded that he was quite "cute". I had thought that good-looking, well-dressed and single Singaporean guys were extinct.

LX was rather quiet during the dinner. Although we didn't talk much, I found out that both of us were from the same JC. We both studied at universitied in the US and graduated with double degrees. He did not fit my stereotype of the nerdy and irritatingly book-smart student (although he'd certainly looked like one in his class picture in our yearbook).

LX, L and I then headed to watch a foreign movie. Spainish, I think.

I had a good first impression of him but thought that nothing more would come out from this meeting, as this would be the first and last time I would see him.

I was surprised and delighted when I received an sms from LX the following Saturday, asking me out for coffee. LX had asked L for my number. I arranged to meet LX over coffee that night.

Scene 2

I wore my favorite white dress and even took the trouble to put on some make-up, but tried my best to make it look as subtle as possible. I'd wanted to make a good impression.

We got to know each other over a cup of coffee each. We talked about our families, JC and universities days, hobbies, likes and dislikes, mutual friends, friends we realized we both knew and so much more.

I'd thought that LX had an amazing mother. She sounded so atypical and modern of most mothers I knew, definitely very different from mine.

I thought it was sweet but unusual that he was planning a trip with his parents for the Deepavali - Hari Raya long weekend. L and I were also considering a trip during the same period. I don't know of any of my friends who still travel with their parents, especially without their significant other.

LX sounded like he came from a loving family, the kind I always wished I was part of. Little was I to know that his family, especially the very tight apron strings with which he was tied to his mother, would be one of the main reasons behind our relationship's disintegration beyond repair. While his respect and love for his parents and elder brother is commendable, that is still no excuse to hate his own child, who is one-half his flesh and blood as well.

I learnt that LX was into swing dancing while at university. Ballroom dancing was one of my favorite activities which I had picked up at university, but never got to further my interest in Singapore as the scene here is small and different. I can't remember what else we talked about but I remember having a really good time as conversation just flowed.

Time flew by incredibly fast. Before long, it was time to head home, as I wanted to catch the last train home. I could not stop smiling all the way home. I could not remember when was the last time I had such an enjoyable and engaging conversation. It also helped that LX smsed me on my way home, telling me that he had enjoyed himself very much, too.

LX did not fit bill of my ideal guy.

One, he was of the same age as me. My ex-bfs were at least years older than me, and I'd felt that due to differing rates of maturity and my cynical nature, an older guy would be better suited for me.

Two, he came from a Chinese-speaking family, while my parents don't speak a word of Chinese.

Three, he'd studied in mixed schools, while I was from an all-girls school for 10 years.

I decided that the above differences could be worked on and overlooked. A crush was coming onto me.

-- by tristefemme

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Unexpected pregnancy? Call 1-800-MUM-TO-BE (1-800-686-8623).